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  • écrire plus!

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    ***LATE POST (like way way late)***

    As I headed into the last leg of the nanowrimo process, I needed to take a breather from writing, so I came to my blog 😉 **then I waited several months before I came back** This has been such a harrowing experience; attempting to write a 50,000 word novel in just 31 days. I am not a perfectionist by any means, but trying to breeze through this novel-sans edititing every step of the way-has forced me to ease up on the reigns a bit, in writing and thankfully in holding myself accountable for trudging through the days, only now hitting the 2k/day mark, not to mention the much appreciated distraction from the ensuing events of the world.

    I unfortunately became rather detoured with a recent celebration in Reno, NV; my 30th birthday (Nov. 19th)! Until now, I had never enjoyed the opportunity to hang out in this adult playground. The hubby and I enjoyed seeing Adam Corolla live and a steak and seafood dinner. The restaurant served New Zealand Red Deer, which I was totally unaware is quite the delicacy in the land of the great white cloud. We danced the night away to a live band and retro 90s dj. There even served us a flaming bowl of alcohol! However, I recall very little beyond that. This trip did allow me to remain secure in the fact that, when the chips are down (cheeky casino ref.) my husband will always be there for me 💙

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    In keeping up with the Steampunk Stroll happening that same night in Reno, I got this epic gears necklace.

    Fast Forward>> to the most awe inspiring, nerd-fest honeymoon of all time 😍

    We flew out for Auckland New Zealand in late December. Landing at the airport, the weather was cloudy with a little humidity, it truly felt like we were in a topical oasis. The husband and I spent 14 days driving a Britz camper van from Auckland on the North Island all the way down to Queenstown on the South Island, where we would fly out of and back to Auckland for another 13 hour flight back to San Francisco Intl.

    We did some touristy stuff like visiting the Auckland War Memorial Museum, Winter Garden Pavilion, and went to the top of the Sky Tower. Highly recommend Giapo for gourmet ice cream. I had my first exposure to a New Zealand favorite; Hokey Pokey and officially became obsessed. A coupe days later we went to the fascinating Waitomo glow worm caves and learned that back in the 1800s our 30 dollar admission fee was a mere 8 cents! (Side note, the money in NZ is SO colorful). Driving through the lush country sides we noticed two different deer farms, which I though was strange because on any given day if you are around the rivers near our home of Sacramento, CA you can almost always spot deer, prancing out in the open, unenclosed. Only later did we realize these adorable creatures would likely demolish the lush environment if allowed to roam as they do here in Cali., and I recalled that expensive NZ deer steak we saw on the menu back in Reno.

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    Hobbiton-Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit filming location. Matamata, New Zealand

    We stayed in some wonderful Holiday Parks, the most memorable being at Himatangi Beach on Christmas. There were so many local families that loved to stay in these parks. They are perfect for hooking up your camper or motorhome if you need water/electricity, or if you only had a car and tent, most offer non hook-up sites and you can even find free car parks too. People were so friendly and helpful. I loved how everyone was comfortable talking to strangers and sharing stories and travel tips. We took a picture at Mordor on Christmas Day, which was pretty much as epic as it gets. We’ll go back someday to experience the multi day trails that can be found on the Alpine Crossing. Then again… just walking uphill for 20 feet proved challenging for our bettered knees and backs. The one downside we discovered was on Christmas, when NO liquor stores were allowed to sell alcohol. It proved very convenient on every other day though, having plenty of Four Squares and PAK’nSAVE stores when we were in need of food and supplies.

    Wellington was by far our favorite city. We stayed here for two days, had a wonderful time drinking craft beer and ale, eating at open air restaurants, and I even got my nails done (#ladyluxury). We booked a tour at the Weta Workshop, where I came face to face with an actual fully functioning Warthog from Halo. We saw and held props from District 9, The Chronicles of Narnia, and of course, Lord of the Rings. This is a must do weather you are a movie buff or not, it is a priceless and inspiring experience. For those of you familiar with the jaw-dropping show Westworld, we saw a life size silicone mold of none other than Matt Damon being created with that fast pace needle work you see in the opening credits. It was truly surreal.

    Hanmer Springs located on the South Island, was the coolest water park. Instead of boasting chlorine water, every pool was filled with natural sulfur springs. They even had slides! The most amazingly large portion of fish and chips were served at a small food shack just outside of the park, much more fresh and less expensive than in the states. Not to mention, something about the coffee was amazing (even though when you ordered regular coffee, to kiwis this automatically meant it included milk) and the eggs were the most brilliant orange we’ve ever seen!

    Lake Te Anau was a really nice little town surrounding the most beautiful lake, after staying here for a night, we headed down to the Christchurch ruins, Dunedin, and finally Queenstown, where we found the second most amazing ice cream at Patagonia.

    Queenstown was an obvious hot spot. Busier than Wellington but smaller so the crowds made it seem like we were in a much large city. There were no shortage of extreme activities to sign up for; bungee jumping, jet boat rides, the coolest looking chair lift you could see from most areas of the town, leading to to what I was told was a café and restaurant that rarely had reservations available, so we skipped it. Opting to instead, to drive up the mountain for about 40 minutes to the town of Glenorchy. This was a rather quaint country town and yet boasts so many fimiling locations! From Isengard in LOTR, to several forest shoots seen in the Hobbit movies, even a scene from Wolverine was filmed on one of the gravel roads we traveled on.

    After our luxurious stays at Holiday Parks, having access to showers and laundry service, we chose to spend New Years at a DOC campground near Lake Sylvan. We later ate at the same spot where the cast and crew from LOTR use to hang out at during filming, on the walls hung typical American nostalgia, including James Dean and Spaghetti Western memorabilia. There was even an old western map of Reno, NV hanging near the bar 🙂

    TIP: Be sure to purchase local bug repellent to rid yourself of the nasty little sand flies that swarm this location. Our weak and useless Off spray did zilch to keep away this tiny little guys, and I was unfortunate enough to get so many bites on my feet it lead to temporary but very unpleasant skin issues.

    Dart River boat rides, a thrilling adventure we highly recommend, was not cheap but totally worth it to see the surrounding landscape from the river, and explore tucked away groves and World Heritage sites. The driver was absolutely crazy! Water sprayed us everywhere (luckily they loan you oversized ponchos to wear under the life jackets). He would signal when we were heading into 180 turns, and there were two boats zipping around each other at the same time.

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    Me and my smiling hubby in the back row 🙂

     

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    And finally, now that we’re all up to speed (pfew). It was a lovely first Valentine’s as newlyweds. My super amazing husband sent a special delivery marking the previous day as our six month wedding anniversary! I felt incredibly loved as I carried the large and awkwardly shaped bright green box up the stairs to my office. Then, later that evening, I spent a few hours watching my new roller derby team mates participate in our first scrimmage of the season, #GalentinesDay. Lastly, the following day I completed my public service entry level probation, and began the first course towards earning my MPA certification online at the University of Missouri. So many great things have already occurred, and even more are inevitably on the way… 👶

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    “For my amazing wife. You are wonderfully beautiful, brilliant, and bona-fide awesome. But you know that already!!! So here’s to another year of adventure and discovery my copilot. All the loves! Your HUBBY! Muah xoxo”

  • Confessions Of A Happy Introvert | Huffington Post

    Michelle Richmond New York Times bestselling author of The Year of Fog, Golden State

      I’m an introvert who loves entertaining a crowd.

    I’ve always had a hard time “going out.” Don’t get me wrong, my love of travel has taken me all over the world, from Ushuaia to Beijing to Budapest, Reykjavik to Oslo, and I certainly enjoy a rousing party every now and then. But most of the time, I prefer to be alone or with my small family, in nature or at home, writing, reading, or reviewing submissions to the small press that is my literary labor of love.

    As a kid, I spent hours alone in my room, contently writing and reading, and my mom would always ask, “Why don’t you go out and play?” But I didn’t want to go out and play. What a lot of well-intentioned people have trouble understanding is that introverts are happier being alone. But this doesn’t mean that we don’t value friendships and relationships; it only means that we thrive with a smaller social circle, and that we take our social interactions in smaller doses.

    In Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, Susan Cain delves into the science of introversion. Introverts are simply wired differently, on a neural level. Too much surface-level interaction (think playground chatter, cocktail parties) leaves us feeling depleted. We need time alone, and we need quiet ― not because we’re “anti-social,” but because we find long bouts of social interaction deeply exhausting. We do like people, but after spending time with them, we need more time to recharge.

    I wish someone had told me when I was a kid that it’s okay to want to be alone.

    Introversion isn’t about shyness, either. It doesn’t necessarily translate into social fear or awkwardness. I feel supremely comfortable on stage, entertaining an audience, and I consider this to be an important part of my job as a writer and storyteller. At parties where I don’t know anyone, I may not walk up and say, “Hi! My name is Michelle! I’m a writer!” But I’m likely to walk up, smile, listen and ask you questions about the things I find interesting about you.

    For all the bad rap introverts get, extroverts often like talking to us, because we tend to be interested in other people’s histories. During my dating years, I found meeting men to be the easiest thing in the world. I could hardly round a corner without meeting a guy and ending up on a date (I once ended up in a relationship with a guy I met in a car crash in Atlanta). My ease with the opposite sex had everything do with the fact that asking questions comes naturally to me. A lot of people like to talk about themselves, and introverts like to listen. Who doesn’t want to be heard?

    I wish someone had told me when I was a kid that it’s okay to want to be alone. I wish the studies on happiness as it relates to extroversion and introversion took into account the great contentment we introverts feel when we are engaged in a meaningful intellectual task. Writing makes me happy. My books then take me out into the world and engender true connection with strangers. Because readers tend to feel a kind of intimacy with a book they respond strongly to—and by extension with its author—we are often able to immediately cut through the surface and talk about things that matter. Readers will often contact me through email or approach me at events to talk about their own losses, their histories, significant details of their lives. This connection is meaningful to me and brings me joy. I am able fully engage in these moments because I have plenty of time alone to write my books.

    Like many introverts, I find it really easy to be in front of a crowd. Put me on a stage, and I get energized. In a group, though, all that energy drains away. If it looks like I’ve zoned out, it’s because I’m on sensory overload, and I need a minute to refocus.

    For introverts, balance is key. We may like you, but a large “girls’ night out” isn’t our first choice. We’re more likely to enjoy going out to coffee with you or a very small group of friends every now and then, hearing what you have to say, understanding what’s really going on in your life. If I see a group of moms gathered on the playground at school pickup, I tend to stay away. Not because I’m shy, and not because I don’t like them — but because small talk depletes me. But if I see one of those women standing alone, it’s a different story. It is in smaller groups that the walls come down and we are better able to get past chatter and learn something real about another person ― that the exuberant mother-of-four dreams of starting a business, that the lady you’ve only ever seen in yoga pants was, until recently, an intensive care nurse.

    Introverts need time to think through things, to connect with our own thoughts and dreams.

    People are so much more interesting when you know where they come from, what they hope for, why they do the things they do. This information is hard to come by when everything is noisy and high-octane. The quiet moments allow for connection, and connection is important to introverts.

    But in addition to connecting on an intimate level with others, introverts need time to think through things, to connect with our own thoughts and dreams. Yes, we are dreamers. As a kid, I had friends. I got along with my teachers. I made jokes (and was even voted funniest girl in my graduating class of a large public high school, although I have a feeling the yearbook teacher might have skewed the results in my favor). But an entire school day of constant interaction was never easy, so I used class lectures as a time to get away, inside my own head. While I loved English, I got through the boredom and anxiety of math and science by using the class time to secretly write. Writing and daydreaming gave me an out — it was my quiet space in a world of chaos. It was my escape. I know now that I did this because a day of school is exhausting for an introvert.

    I see this exhaustion in my son every day after school, and because I know what that’s like, I try to not over schedule him. He has a lot of friends, and his friends are extremely important to him. But I understand that, after a long day at school, he is happiest if he spends some time at home, alone or with just one or two friends. At the end of a rowdy party or play date or team sports event, he needs the time and space to wind down.

    If you happen to be an extrovert parent with an introverted child, don’t be alarmed by your child’s occasional need for solitude. It’s just his or her natural, healthy response to sensory and social overload. Remember, it’s not a personality flaw or a sign of unhappiness. It’s simply the way your child responds to the world on a neural level.

    If you are an introvert, don’t let anyone make you feel bad for not wanting to “get out more.” And if you are an extrovert who is always trying to draw the introvert out of his shell: just know, the introvert may be happy just the way he is. Don’t assume that the introverts in your life don’t like you or find you interesting. If they don’t go to your party, it’s not because they’re shy, and it’s not because they’re snobby. Introverts are just like you, only quieter. We need our time alone, and sometimes, we need time alone with you — just the two of us, to really connect.

    Michelle Richmond is the author of four novels, including the New York Times bestseller The Year of Fog, and two award-winning story collections. Her new novel will be published in 2017, with foreign editions forthcoming in 23 languages and film rights optioned to Twentieth Century Fox. Sign up to receive a monthly digest of Michelle’s most popular blog posts, reading recommendations, and notes on the writing life.

  • le bonheur et la tristesse

    The hubby’s birthday is just around the corner (October 19th) and I have a special outing to our favorite sushi spot ready to go. Luckily, we’re getting there the same day a weekly fresh fish delivery arrives, yum! Due to the egregious cost of our impending Christmas honeymoon, we’ve decided to try and keep it pretty lean for the rest of the year… I bought him a pair of Diesel jeans on mega sale (in my defense), through Nordstrom Rack and due to this year being my 3oth on November 19th, I have hinted at finally getting one of those fancy gold oversized watches, not real gold of course and from Amazon. I equate it to when you hear of people receiving a watch for being at their job for 20 years, only this is a long sought after Marc Jacobs that I’ve chosen for my personal hard work during 30 challenging years on earth. Also, (I said we’d try to keep it lean!) the Alliance Française de Sacramento is hosting an amazing La Fête du Beaujolais Nouveau fundraiser the night of my birthday so we obviously cannot miss this event… because, WINE.

    I could swear the price of our honeymoon increases with every month that brings us closer to departure. It’s safe to say we will not be using a travel agent ever again. For future arrangements, I’ve looked into Go Ahead tours; coming up in September of 2017 (hopefully) Italy! We’ve also discussed Iceland, Cuba, and potentially another RV trip, this time through Canada! One of these countries may become our future permanent residence, what with the state of the nation, a very poor education and daycare outlook, and the horrific stories that pass through my desk on a daily basis in my government position, detailing just how poorly some children are being treated by peers and even teachers at school. Though we feel it might be the best option for our family to re-locate, I do have a mountain of student loans which tie me to the US through a generous forgiveness program, so long as I continue my work with the government full-time. Granted, at this stage it may be more of a fantasy than a concrete plan, I am still incredibly excited at the possibility of international living!

    The reason I began this blog was to discover new and hopefully exciting things about myself, and to have a platform far removed from the more analytical set up of my cinema blog. I’ve been trying on different tones and styles through this little site and hopefully I continue to have a healthy dose of diverse topics and things to share. Just to prepared the reader, what I am about to describe is bit more raw and potentially emotional than my previous posts.

    ***

    I had a dream last night about an old friend. The dream began with my husband and me discussing our plans to relocate from California to New Zealand. I was scouting new homes and somewhere along my search I was abducted; a seller tried to force me into buying their property! It gets really spliced after that but when the dream comes back into focus I am –understandably– in a panic as I take out my cell to call my best friend. It was an instinctual gesture, whenever I needed anything there was only one person I wanted to turn to; an unwavering beacon of hope and happiness. I was elated when he picked up. As it turned out, he was only half a block away and we began walking towards one another while he stayed on the phone to calm me down. The sight of him coming around the corner was/is a feeling I can’t easily forget, or describe. I quickly dropped my phone and rush over to him. The sight and the feel of his warmth enveloped me in a way I am ashamed to admit. This is the person who was there throughout my tumultuous high school experience, the one who stuck up for me when his family decided I wasn’t good enough (based on my skin tone), that beautiful blue eye boy that loved me unconditionally at my worst most abhorrent young adult moments.

    The cat wakes me up…I don’t immediately begin gasping and crying as per usual. I remember that my husband has the day off due to poor weather so I was sensitive not to wake him. The silent tears rolled down my face as the alarm begins to wail, fully thrusting me back into reality. It’s time to get ready for work… happy Friday. I comfort myself the best I can, tears hot on my cheek; the anger begins to rise. A life cut short at just 24 years old while the rest of us are left to go on as best we can in the wake of his enormous absence. Life can deal some devastating blows, and there are those who get knocked down more than others. Mine came in 2009, when I experienced the tragic end to what was then absolutely, hands down, the love of my life; fatally affected by an irresponsible party goer with a stolen prescription narcotic.

    I’ve listen to both sides of the debate over whether it’s ‘easier’ to know when the loss is coming versus scrambling to deal with it suddenly. In my case, had you told me in advance the most caring and kind person I’d ever meet at that point was going to have their life cut short, there’s not a single thing that could have prepared me. Sure I could have said my goodbyes and there may be more closure than there is now but the rage in my heart would survive. The cruelty of the universe is still fresh in my soul because I refuse to come to terms with what has occurred and why. Though I may never get an answer, only speculations and frequent reminders to myself of how blessed I am to have the love and understanding of my husband. How he stands by when that light inside me, which he’s grown so accustom to, becomes a bit dim now and again. Yet I keep waiting for time to heal this wound, or for my memories to become less defined. Then days like today hit me like a wall of freezing water and suddenly I have shards of glass slicing through my heart as I try to breathe past the pain. How do I tell my future children about this loss? How can I keep putting my husband through the strain of seeing me this way, over a lost love no less? I am left here, looking to the future for the answers.

     

    e.darby

  • et le bébé fair trios

    et le bébé fair trios

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    From newlywed to new…parents?

    I love being obscure. Obviously I also ❤️ all things French (they just do everything better). I constantly see people posting pics of their children on social media and it makes me cringe, for one simple fact; a child is underage. I get creeped out over all the weirdos that have acces to so many pictures of these innocent children! Granted, I’ll admit to way too much of my time being spent at sword and scale, but still. I want more than anything to be that annoying Instagramer who only post pics of her child’s feet, or the back of their head. Keep everyone guessing. After all, if we’re truly close friends then you will be able to see said bundle of joy in person, negating the need for an obnoxious overabundance of bébé posts. Had you told me I would even be entertaining this idea of kids at such an early stage of our marriage I’d have been very dismissive. No way had I know if I even wanted kids, let alone had the slightest idea of when. Yet here we are, the paradigm shifting suddenly in our life, on my blog…my Instagram 😉 Yes our child already has their own Instagram. Purely for marketing reasons I assure you. In all honesty, I’ve been listening to the book, The Mommy MD Guide to Pregnancy and Birth on Audible of course. I don’t know if it’s the varied advice by knowledgeable Dr. Moms on just about every topic you could imagine, or the soothing voice of narrator Kathy Broderick, but since I’ve been listening, I feel so much more at ease with our decision. They advised to create a journal for your children to read when they’re older, the millennial in me decided, what would be better than an electronic version?! And so the idea for @littlemissadaline was born. The name may need to be changed should we have a little mr. lochlan instead. ⭐️

    I thought, at the beginning of this whole wedding process that I would wait maybe a year-or two, or more-before even considering kids. Now, as we are three months away from our honeymoon I am looking forward to conceiving in New Zealand. After all, we’re both settled in our jobs now, extremely happy, my husband and I are on the same page about wanting kids (he became more excited than me!), and we’ll be moving into a bigger home by early next year. There are so many factors to consider still; how long I’ll be out of work, will we or wont we get help with taking care of our new little bundle, will we travel still? I’ve requested info from Au Pair in America. If we went this route, we would need to then make sure we had an appropriate environment for not only a new baby but a live-in Au Pair. Then there’s the small possibility that I may not conceive right away, if at all. I try my best to stay positive but I am also hyper-realistic…if that’s a thing? I tend to think about every possible possibility before I make up my mind on any decision. This and other factors have kept me from wanting to get pregnant in the past, which is not necessarily a bad thing considering the potential fathers I would have been bound to. I’ve never been more confident that my partner will make an exemplary father. Not to mention how peaceful the idea became once we really sat down and agreed on our decision. So many wonderful journeys lie ahead and I can’t wait to share each one.

    Cheers,

    mrs. spencer

  • From Miss to Mrs: Changing Your Last Name | Wedbites

    https://wedbites.com/2016/03/24/from-miss-to-mrs-changing-your-last-name/

  • #marriedlife

    With our wedding day behind us, my new hubby and I are left in utter bliss over how amazing our loved ones responded in preparation for our special day. Never before have I seen such an eclectic group come together in honor of a bride and groom.  I am still humbled and elated by this experience. Though I wouldn’t change a thing, as I scroll through the remaining feeds of wedding ideas, I can’t help but notice gorgeous scenes depicted in real -or most likely staged- weddings. This article reminds all of us that our wedding can be special in its own way, representiting each of us and our partners individuality. My husband and I were so lucky to pull together an extremely affordable beach wedding on such a small budget, knowing we had agreed that an extravagant New Zealand honeymoon had become top priority. The outcome: we were well under budget, arranged a beautifully overcast and much more prefered intimate gathering, incurring little expense on decor, dinner, and spirits. I was able to put on an epic and revealing ladies bowling night prior to the big day, and an emotional rehersal dinner was had, complements of my hospitable in-laws. The hand fasting ceremony was beautiful and one of a kind, the ceremony script paid homage to our open-minded spirituality, and my uncle presiding was another gift I remain incredibly appreciative for. The extra night spent in San Francisco, enjoying our favorite bands involved with the Unity Tour at the SF Masonic was just what we needed; including a quaint and well situated Ocean Park stay.

    Summer is surprisingly winding down, another yearly vacation under our belt, I’m happily working to prove myself in a probationary period with a new job, and a soon approaching Christmas honeymoon on its way. I can honestly say that there could not be a more full and enjoyable life out there for me.

    Happily,

    Mrs. Spencer

    **Special thanks to carat323 for their beautifully engraved tungsten wedding band, the chosen message of mon chevalier, a reminder to my husband that he saved me from a dark and unsure time in my life. Also, SeaToLandDesigns for these

    img_0302last minute boutonnières. A sweet and delicate addition to the powder blue ties, sand color vests, and soft grey pants worn by the groom’s party.

     

  • 10 Tips for Surmounting In-Law Difficulties | Psychology Today

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/singletons/201412/10-tips-surmounting-in-law-difficulties

  • engaged life…

    When putting on a wedding becomes more for everyone else than for you and your partner, it may be time to re-prioritize. Without family footing the bill, it became quite apparent there was no reason to try and incorporate the suggestions of everyone lining up to offer an opinion. Just because they might expect a certain flair of opulence doesn’t mean it’s the appropriate representation of me, or my Taoist practicing hubby-to-be. If I had it my way, without an iota of consideration for the comfort or sensibilities of others, there would be less than thirty guests situated under the illuminated canopy of the redwood forest. Trees would be adorned with twinkly fairy lights as we dance the night away to the musical styling of a talented (affordable) acoustic guitarist. On the epic, no expense spared approach, we’d have an exquisite masquerade ball, same location, add in a hauntingly romantic carousel and tables filled with French pastries and Italian cusine. I also love the idea of having the entire event in a charming little barn, maybe somewhere in Sonoma. So long as everyone has a great time, what does it really matter where or how much it costs. As it stood, if we didn’t go ahead with this complete overhaul, we would then have to forego the highly anticipated LOTR honeymoon of our dreams. Giving up two weeks of self discovery in the most unique landscape in the world in exchange for exhausting our budget on a reception? No way! Once we bother agreed this was not an option, we (ok I) carefully crafted the following last minute, budget friendly, summer-time beach wedding 🙂

    Granted I happened along on pure luck as most of Michael’s beach theme and eclectic decor was on a huge markdown. I was able to pick up a few bags of beautiful sea glass, chalk boards, and a blue rustic wood frame perfect for our alternative guestbook. Luckily, the antique Parisian country theme we’d had previously, still fits in line perfectly with this new beach vibe, including theses awesome biodegradable birch straws.

    The cost of our highly sought after photographer- featured on a recent real weddings cover- was not cheap to start. Add in the cost of accommodation and travel from Placerville to the Bay area and well, it’s a good thing we’re saving so much on the venue now cause… ouch. At any rate, I am fully comfortable and happy with our choice. Knowing you really get along with and can rely on the one person in charge of capturing every moment of your special day is truly priceless.

    Sacramento Weddings
    realweddingsmag.com

    I was also able to find a replacement for our flowers, utilizing a search of flower shops close to the area, I lucked out with the family owned El Camino Florist in South SF. I’ve requested something along the lines of Blake Lively’s epic wedding bouquet:

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    The date: August 13th, will be the two year anniversary of our first date and my lucky number! Having 13 incorporated in the most memorable day of our lives, not to mention being near the ocean in Pacifica, where I was sure as a child I would get married, I couldn’t for a better better scenario. We were initially advised to hold the wedding during the off season, on a weekday to save money. So originally we opted for a Sunday in December, not wanting to be all alone on a weekday evening, understanding that our loved ones have demanding lives. In addition, I was incredibly worried that one guest in particular would take full advantage of the bar and thus, we cut the reception time short. With recent developments, occurring just before all the other changes, I decided it was best (and well over due) to remove that person from my life completely. It’s almost as though, once I made that decision, all the decisions to fallow just fell into place. I am convinced it was the universes way of telling me I’ve made the right choice. Now, with a new found lease on life, a preferred wedding location and expedited date, even an exciting new career on the horizon, I couldn’t ask for anything more that to be married to the love of my life this summer. ♥

    A few Etsy shops we’ve used:

    https://www.etsy.com/shop/UrbanFarmhouseTampa
    https://www.etsy.com/shop/WOODINDECOR
    https://www.etsy.com/shop/BirdAndKeyUK?ref=search_shop_redirect
    https://www.etsy.com/shop/PaperHeartCreation?ref=search_shop_redirect
    https://www.etsy.com/shop/DivinityBraid?ref=shop_sugg
    https://www.etsy.com/shop/InTheClear?ref=search_shop_redirect

    People often reminisce on the early days of their relationship. I think, after we’ve been married for 10-20 years I won’t be looking back to the beginning. The start of our relationship was riddled with uncertainty; will he call again, will I see him again, do I have time for a relationship. Nope, I thinking I will look back fondly on these more recent moments. Living in the heart of downtown Sacramento with our black cat, sans kids. Budgeting for our life, our wedding, eating sushi and taking trips to the movies and local bars. Being laid off two summers in a row while remaining incredibly thankful to have such a supportive and understanding partner in my corner, cheering me on. Forever.

  • keeping away the wedding woes

    Just because you’re getting married, doesn’t mean life’s external stressors suddenly halt before you. As the world grieves, it’s easy to become distracted by the overwhelming and often times conflicting emotions we may be experiencing; sadness for the devastation and loss, happiness for upcoming nuptials and celebrations, thankful for your loved ones safety. While remaining sympathetic to the suffering of others, we are also left to face mounting personal commitments.

    I will shortly be venturing into a long awaited career following my recent college graduation, a summer move into a new home, a wedding (duh), tough counseling sessions both on my own and with my future husband, and most pressing of all,  a very  long awaited decision to cut out a  toxic family member. Talk about stress, on stress, on stress. I am now faced with how this will effect my remaining family attendance at our wedding. Will I be all alone, with no one to walk me down the isle? Already my non related guests well exceed related guests. What it comes down to however, is that no matter how sad or alone it may feel to loose touch with some one, if that person has truly proven time and again that they thrive off of your failures and upsets, obviously the removal of said individual is long overdue. Easier said then done, believe me. I am finding the closer the relative, the more difficult it is to let them go. Equally difficult will be awaiting the blow back from this necessary decision; including negative comments and ‘how could you’ judgments.

    Planning a wedding has a tendency to wear on you. Suddenly everyone has an opinion on how you should carry out your special day and begin offering unsolicited advice while simultaneously questioning your decisions.  I don’t know about you guys, but I am one of those unfortunate people pleasers, so it becomes increasingly difficult even  attempting to acquiesce to multiple requests. Close friends tell me it should be about what I want or what we as a couple want, and to forget about the rest. Especially since we bear sole responsibility for the majority of funding our event. So why do I continue allowing others to dictate?

    That said,  I remain diligent in my efforts to maintain a positive mindset, ensuring that mind and body are in optimal health. It has already been nearly a month since we started the keto-diet and I am so thankful to be 11 lbs lighter! Though I can’t help but look back on the journey so far. Mostly I think back to the Monday before we began our new no grain, no sugar lifestyle. The cake tasting. So many little cakes with exquisite frosting, and the chocolate and yummy deliciousness of those dreamy moist mini cupcakes. I was apprehensive to the point of becoming out right defensive, believing there was no way I could possibly quit bread. More than that, I knew for a fact I could never give up sugar! The first few days were a struggle, as our bodies began transitioning from being reliant on all of the unhealthy sugars and fillers we’d grown accustom to, instead becoming forced to burn excess fat. Not being able to work out with my strength training group or do spin regularly was also rough. Our body grew weak and sleepy from being deprived of all the preservative ridden options we were use to eating.

    Day 3 I made the choice to take up yoga regularly. It started with a gentle intro class but quickly moved on to mixed levels. Before I knew it I my brain fog had all but completely dissipated and I’ve noticed since being on this diet that my gut health has improved to the point were I no longer experience constant cramps and discomfort. I’ve found so many alternatives for sugars, baked goods, even dough-free and delicious cauliflower pizzas. Recently, during a yoga session at Cal Fit, the instructor mentioned she works at a studio in addition to subbing at the gym. Below I have provided an excellent list of the multiple yoga locations throughout our Greater Sacramento Area:

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    {Photo @sacraluna}                                                                           The Best way to find yourself is to loose yourself in the service of others.

    Yoga Shala-2030 H street: They also have an additional studio at 4397 Arden Way.

    Asah Yoga-1050 20th St. #110: This location is somewhat challenging. Located in the very busy (very fabulous) Lavender Heights district, parking may prove to be scarce.

    Zuda Yoga-Has multiple locations throughout Sacramento and beyond! They’re also part of an awesome day long event coming up May 7th in Natomas; Wanderlust 180. This mini festival’s schedule begins with a 5k, followed by yoga, meditation, tribal body paint lessons, a great wholesome and organic lunch (extra cost), and even yoga sessions infused with DJ tunes!

    A long-term goal is to attend Wandlerlust Squaw Valley. A weekend long festival (ever done paddle board yoga?) near Tahoe. Not to mention all the other amazing retreats and sanctuary’s you can visit all over the world!

    Need a yoga mat? Yoga pants? My high recommendation would be Lucy Activewear and recently discovered Zella; a Nordstrom in house active brand. The ‘Live In’
    leggings have been so great, especially the high rise capris. Personally I’m still working on a bit of excess abdominal baggage and these go well above the belly button to help smooth out things. They’ve also been a welcome addition to my recently explored passion of Irish step dancing. Thanks to the newly remodeled Fremont School for Adults (now the E. Claire Raley Studios for the Performing Arts) here in Downtown, I finally have a place to fulfill a childhood dream of competitive step dancing. Many thanks go out to the McKeever School for allowing me to pursue this amazing opportunity.

    The ultimate advice I have for navigating various ups and downs you’ll inevitably experience, both wedding planning and beyond; take a moment for shavasana, brush off the stress if even for a moment, be kind to yourself and others. After all…YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED! 😛

    Cheers,

    e.darby

     

  • 12 Month Wedding Planning Timeline

    12 Month Wedding Planning Timeline

    Hooray for getting married on the 18th…and for having most of the list completed 10 months in advance!

    wedbites's avatarWedbites

    When you first get engaged, it seems to be proper for you to immediately start planning the wedding.  But in my opinion, you’re missing out on an amazing part of your life together if you do that.  Why not enjoy your engagement a little bit before you go bonkers and start stressing out?  Why not celebrate the fact that you’re going to spend the rest of your lives together, instead of spending all of your time worrying about one day?  Not to say that your wedding day isn’t a big day, it’s a huge day!  But don’t let it get to you.

    I’ve looked at a lot of timelines people suggest for when you get engaged, for when to start looking for a venue, when to order your cake, your invitations, etc.  But they all seem to have items on their to-do lists that I just don’t think are necessary…

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