northern ca living

Category: parenting

  • fête des mères ’17

    This Vogue article almost perfectly sums up several of my fears when it comes to motherhood. I’ve touched on it briefly  but now that we’re a little older and financially sound, the posibility of having or considering having a kid looms closer each day. I say it like I wouldn’t welcome it but we both absolutaly would. It’s just that, the literature, the social media, and discussion board comments seem to be filled with everything from endearing mums to down right indignant commenters that believe you’re somehow owed a heavy dose of ridicule should you dare to kiss your child on the lips.

    I’ve purchased what most likely may be only my second, though probably last, baby book; The Impatient Women’s Guide to Getting Pregnant and guess what? Surprise! I have absolutely no patience for any of it. The data is conflicting, everyone and their – literal – mothers have an opinion on how to be the perfect parent when, lets be honest here, many could have probably done better. The argument being of course, even if you really did do what society hails as being a smashing job on raising the most respectful and hard working (don’t forget mindful) child know to man, there’s always something that could have been done differently, dare I say even, better. I know for a fact I’ve made mistakes in my past that will more than likely get thrown in my face by our future offspring, I like to think it will actually assist me in being the most awesome mum ever.

    Hot debates on fertility treatment, bread feeding in public, what you should and shouldn’t eat while pregnant, its enough for anyone to throw their hands up and say “forget it!” Though I warn against this, lest you insight judgment from the masses for being ‘selfish’ in you decision to not procreate (insert exaggerated eye roll). Add to the fact the studies, oh my are there a TON of studiers, for and against a glass of wine, e-cigs, cannabis to curb nausea, fish, wheat! I don’t know about you but I am already anxiety prone without having to worry about how getting upset in traffic might stall my ability to conceive. My past experience has taught me that nothing is promised, not tomorrow, not your significant other surviving another day, absolutely nothing, nor is anything owed for that matter. In addition, though this seems like sage wisdom when actually it’s just obvious advice; take care of not only yourselves but each other. There’s a lot of talk about feminism, but some of these same women turn on their fellow sisters; for breast feeding in public or asking local government to provide affordable daycare. I offer, that we not place so many labels on things, or ourselves, and be satisfied with the fact that you’ve been given the wonderful opportunity to exist, that you have the ability to make meaningful contribution to the world. I implore each and every one you to judge less and just…live more.

    Ps. I bought one more book, so far I am half regretting it half looking forward to discovering the healthy recipes I’ve been promised. If you like feeling that your consumption of meat is destroying your ‘baby home’-and the planet- then pick up Alicia Silverstone’s The Kind Mama.

    xx,

    e.darby

  • et le bébé fair trios

    et le bébé fair trios

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    From newlywed to new…parents?

    I love being obscure. Obviously I also ❤️ all things French (they just do everything better). I constantly see people posting pics of their children on social media and it makes me cringe, for one simple fact; a child is underage. I get creeped out over all the weirdos that have acces to so many pictures of these innocent children! Granted, I’ll admit to way too much of my time being spent at sword and scale, but still. I want more than anything to be that annoying Instagramer who only post pics of her child’s feet, or the back of their head. Keep everyone guessing. After all, if we’re truly close friends then you will be able to see said bundle of joy in person, negating the need for an obnoxious overabundance of bébé posts. Had you told me I would even be entertaining this idea of kids at such an early stage of our marriage I’d have been very dismissive. No way had I know if I even wanted kids, let alone had the slightest idea of when. Yet here we are, the paradigm shifting suddenly in our life, on my blog…my Instagram 😉 Yes our child already has their own Instagram. Purely for marketing reasons I assure you. In all honesty, I’ve been listening to the book, The Mommy MD Guide to Pregnancy and Birth on Audible of course. I don’t know if it’s the varied advice by knowledgeable Dr. Moms on just about every topic you could imagine, or the soothing voice of narrator Kathy Broderick, but since I’ve been listening, I feel so much more at ease with our decision. They advised to create a journal for your children to read when they’re older, the millennial in me decided, what would be better than an electronic version?! And so the idea for @littlemissadaline was born. The name may need to be changed should we have a little mr. lochlan instead. ⭐️

    I thought, at the beginning of this whole wedding process that I would wait maybe a year-or two, or more-before even considering kids. Now, as we are three months away from our honeymoon I am looking forward to conceiving in New Zealand. After all, we’re both settled in our jobs now, extremely happy, my husband and I are on the same page about wanting kids (he became more excited than me!), and we’ll be moving into a bigger home by early next year. There are so many factors to consider still; how long I’ll be out of work, will we or wont we get help with taking care of our new little bundle, will we travel still? I’ve requested info from Au Pair in America. If we went this route, we would need to then make sure we had an appropriate environment for not only a new baby but a live-in Au Pair. Then there’s the small possibility that I may not conceive right away, if at all. I try my best to stay positive but I am also hyper-realistic…if that’s a thing? I tend to think about every possible possibility before I make up my mind on any decision. This and other factors have kept me from wanting to get pregnant in the past, which is not necessarily a bad thing considering the potential fathers I would have been bound to. I’ve never been more confident that my partner will make an exemplary father. Not to mention how peaceful the idea became once we really sat down and agreed on our decision. So many wonderful journeys lie ahead and I can’t wait to share each one.

    Cheers,

    mrs. spencer